Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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