A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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