Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There r osticjed everywhere
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
