She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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