i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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