Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
