You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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