would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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