if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
