I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Did we literally take a cab across the street
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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