I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
