Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
