I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
