What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
dude. I can hear the air.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
