Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
