You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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