He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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