last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
