Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
