Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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