i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
