Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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