So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
