I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
