So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
