Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
