all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
