I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
