I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
