My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
