love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sober January is a disaster.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
