she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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