Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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