yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
