Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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