a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
