Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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