I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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