Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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