help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
