there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
