its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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