So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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