Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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