the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
