Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

Fav 37 4108 1915
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(503): View more from Oregon

If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one

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(505): View more from New Mexico

SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.

Fav 2 347 460
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(718): View more from New York

Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can

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(408): View more from California

just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation

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