I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize