New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
