i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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