can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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