it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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