she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Terrible idea I love it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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